Gotta Go My Own Way
by copicrazeunwoltxnaa
Summary: -NEVERSEEN SPOILERS-Watch many tragic events between Sophie and Keefe unfurl in Keefe's point of view in Neverseen. One-shot.


_**Yo guys, I finished reading Neverseen and decided to make this SUPER-LONG one-shot (that i also the longest chapter, beating even Xylia Neo. Yes, I know. Bleh) which is, by the way, *fakes falsetto* 5,884 words. No, I'm not boasting or something, I just feel shocked.**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: This is a Neverseen-based fanfic, so if you have not read Neverseen, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR LIFE. And I do not own KOTLC or HSM2.**_

 _ **The sequence in the first flashback is a bit wrong, so hope you can bear with it. :)**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

* * *

Keefe Sencen stared at the necklace in his right hand, fingering the intricate details painted on each of the beautiful beads. The chain felt weak against his palm, and he couldn't help thinking of his mother, who—according to Sophie and Fitz—had been dragged over to a cave near the Lake of Blood and tortured greatly by the Neverseen and the ogres.

She was just like this necklace now. Weak, frail, and useless.

His mother hadn't even worn the necklace he'd done for her—making it useless. But now she was the one that was useless.

A grief-filled and weary sigh racked his body as he leaned on one of the walls in his room—though that wall wouldn't be free for him to lean on anymore. He set the necklace down gently and crumpled the paper that held the drawing of the necklace—and with a fit, he flung it to the ground, crying out loud in anguish as he did so.

It was too painful to relieve the memories of his mother. She had joined the Neverseen when she had already been pregnant with him—so whatever few moments he spent with his mother didn't matter—they were all lies anyway.

Lies, lies, and LIES.

He wished he could just hide behind a joke like he always did—to wash away the stricken emotions from his body—but now, there was no turning back.

He'd always thought he had awful parents.

He just never thought they could go this far.

He bit his lip as he remembered how memories flooded into his mind, fresh and raw—thanks to the fathomlethes he had swallowed a few days ago, and had continued scribbling down questions—doubtful ones about his mother, and—himself.

His eyes flickered to a note on the floor that Sophie had taken down but he pasted it up again as he stared at the three words:

 _Who am I?_

A memory surfaced up, one that happened some time ago:

 _"_ _I hate watching it," he whispered. "Them and Della. It's all to happy and easy."_

 _He felt bitter as he said it—and he knew Fitz and Biana didn't do it on purpose, and they deserved to see their family—but why couldn't he be like them? Why couldn't he have a perfect family that loved him too?_

 _Sophie's eyes filled with worry as she moved to his side._

 _Keefe couldn't bear to look at her as he continued, "I used to wish I was a Vacker. I'd be over at their house, dreading the moment I had to go home. But nope. I'm a Sencen. And it just keeps on getting worse and worse."_

 _Sophie stayed silent for a moment, then reached for his hand, squeezing it comfortingly. But then her eyes caught a note on the wall:_

 _Who am I?_

 _Keefe started to wish she hadn't saw it. But Sophie didn't do anything as she took it down and faced Keefe, saying, "Easy question. You're Keefe Sencen. Master mischief-maker. Tormentor of principals. Frequenter of Detention. And one of the best guys I know."_

He sighed and decided to leave that alone, pasting it onto a wall that was already three-quarters full with his own questions. He sunk in his own pool of self-reflection and wondered to himself if he was really meant to be the good guy.

Being the son of a villain, it seemed pretty impossible.

Maybe...maybe he _was_ born to be something else. Just like his mother.

He still loved her—he knew he did. He was just too stubborn to admit it. He considered that admitting that he still loved her was a weakness and will only slow the others down—who were doing so well, unlike him.

His gaze travelled to the curtains that were covering his window, and waddled through the floor of millions of papers to reach the window.

Keefe's shaky hands tore open the curtains and revealed the sight of Sophie's room's window, which wasn't covered at all. In fact, he could see her crawled on the ground. What was she doing?

A tug on his lips made him feel slightly better as his eyes lingered on her affectionately.

Just then, Sophie looked up and Keefe panicked, snapping the curtains together again. He nearly jumped in shock when a loud 'thud' sounded at his glass, then another one. He winced and turned to open the curtains again.

His eyes caught Sophie's brown ones as Sophie pressed a note to the glass:

I'M HERE.

Warmth filled Keefe's heart as his emotions soared. He stared at the words for a few long moments, then turned away, heading towards his bed and scooping up his blanket and his pillow. His heart felt too heavy to soar again, so he didn't smile as he leaned against the glass and closed his eyes as Sophie did the same. He was grateful for Sophie's care and concern—but even she couldn't fix him. It was time to get serious.

* * *

"Boobrie dude?" Sophie asked Keefe, her voice tinged with confusion. Keefe felt a hysterical giggle push up his throat once again as he raised the already-empty vial to his lips, his mouth opening wide to catch any drops of the elixir.

"He wouldn't tell me his name. And he has this crazy bird mask." He giggled again, but he didn't know if it was because of the lovely liquid or the funny name 'boobrie'. And he didn't care.

"Where did he go?"

"Hopefully to get me more of this." Keefe licked the rim of the glass, feeling slightly satisfied when he caught a few remaining drops. He didn't know why Sophie was frowning at him like he was insane.

"What's in it?"

"No idea." And honestly, he didn't. He just loved the taste. "All I know is it tasted like kissing a muskog." He knew, because he had kissed one before.

"And you have a lot of experience with that?" Sophie's voice was both disbelieving and amused, sarcasm dripping from her voice. Keefe felt slightly annoyed.

"Hey, I never say no to a dare!"

"Wait—you seriously kissed a muskog?" Sophie obviously didn't believe him.

He hiccuped. "I've kissed lots of things! Just ask Biana." The memory of Biana's kiss floated back from the dark premises of his mind, and he hiccupped again.

Sophie's voice was hard to read, and Keefe couldn't distinguish what were her emotions when her voice came out shrill and loud, "You kissed Biana?"

He suddenly felt embarrassed telling this story in front of Sophie. "A couple years ago, yeah," he mumbled, feeling a little awkward as he looked away. "Mostly on the cheek."

He didn't dare to say it directly.

Sophie's eyes narrowed, but Keefe could feel the doubt wavering off her. "What do you mean by 'mostly'?"

Keefe had a very good idea she already knew the answer, but to tease her, he replied smoothly, "You want a demonstration?"

Keefe actually wanted to demonstrate to Sophie.

Sophie's cheeks flushed pink as disgust and embarrassment radiated off her. "Um...I think I'll pass."

Keefe didn't know why, but he wanted her to feel reassured there was absolutely nothing going on between Biana and him, so he told her, "It wasn't a big deal. It was just a dare."

Sophie's voice seemed to have a strain in it as she replied, "Okay." Keefe's eyes flickered down and noticed she was clenching her fists—tightly even—and her emotions were raging inside of her.

He narrowed his eyes. "You're a hard one to read, Miss F., you know that? Sometimes I think you—" He was about to say "Sometimes I think you even have a thing for me" when he spotted a vial filled with the elixir. "Oh, the boobrie dude gave you some of the awesome-sauce!" He pointed to a vial on the floor next to her mattress, filled with swirly purple liquid. He could feel his tongue dying to taste it again as he told her, "You should take it. Or if you don't want it, you should give it to me!"

Sophie, to his disappointment, snatched the vial out of his reach. "I think you've had enough."

Keefe felt annoyed as he jeered, "Boo—you're worse than my mum! Actually, no, you're not. No one is. Was. What's the right verb? It needs to be past tense, right?"

It only made sense that way. She was dead, right? He should be happy. So why wasn't he?

He rolled onto his side and curled his legs into his chest, tapping his empty vial with his fingernails. A break of silence followed, only interrupted by the steady taps of his fingernails. He could feel Sophie studying him, and he didn't care. He knew he looked awful right now. But this was real. This was the true him.

"Right now it's in the 'we don't know' tense, Keefe," Sophie said after a long time.

"Yeah. I made her a necklace once. Did I tell you that, huh? I made it out of beads to match her favourite bracelet. I painstakingly painted a different flower on every one. And do you know how many times she wore it?"

 _Zero_ , he thought bitterly as he raised up both of his fists to Sophie. _She doesn't acknowledge my necklace that I created for her, that's for sure. And now, I'm not even sure if she even acknowledges me as her son._

 _Who would even love to wear the horrible necklace? It's in my room, in a dark, dusty corner, wasted, useless now that my mum doesn't even want to wear it. Oh, I know. I'll find someone who doesn't deem it as useless, unlike my mum._

* * *

Keefe jabbed at his fork and ignored his friends' worried stares at him as he shoved the remainder of his breakfast into his already-full mouth, and disappeared into his room immediately. He sat in the center of the room, closing his eyes and thinking of the last conversation consisting of Sophie, Fitz, Mr Forkle, and himself.

So his father wanted to join the Black Swan.

It wasn't a question.

Keefe would never come back if they accepted him inside. But that wasn't the only thing bothering him. Sophie withheld so many things from him. He was starting to think if he could really trust her to tell him all the secrets that she knew but he didn't know.

She should've told him.

Thirdly, his mother's note. 'Dear Keefe, I'm doing this for you. Love, Mum.'. What did she mean by she was doing this for him? Did she even care about him? And what was 'this'? And most importantly, how come she had the right to sign off as 'Love, Mum'? First of all, Keefe was pretty sure she didn't love him at all. And she didn't deserve to call herself his mother.

He exited his room, just in time to see Sophie blush wildly. She and Fitz were sitting face-to-face with each other, and staring into each other's eyes—obviously having another secret telepathic conversation—which he despised.

He decided to leave them alone—even when jealousy flared up in him, and plopped into one of the beanbag chairs near Sophie, and muttered under his breath, "Sophitz—give me a paper bag to barf inside."

He hoped Sophie didn't catch that—but it was hard to know with the sideways look she was giving him.

"My turn?" Fitz asked Sophie. Keefe wondered what they were doing. Probably some stupid trust exercise or something.

Sophie nodded, and after a while, Fitz said, "221B Baker Street."

After a moment, he said, "Oh, is that how you retrieve the cache?" Then he covered his mouth as he realised what he had just said. "Sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud. And I didn't wreck anything by saying the words, right?"

Sophie shook her head. "Nope, it only works with my voice," she reassured him.

Keefe's ears perked up at this as he memorized the words 221B Baker Street. So this was how they retrieved the cache. And it could only work with Sophie's voice. His mind filled with brooding thoughts and he hardly heard anything Dex said when he jumped to his feet and screamed something.

When all the excitement had faded and everybody was asleep, he retreated back to his room, locked the door, draped the curtains around the window fully, pulled out an Imparter he had snuck from his house and whispered, "Show me Brant."

* * *

Keefe arrived outside the Sanctuary, and after a few minutes, Sophie leaped here too. He smiled at her, but he knew she didn't find it convincing at all.

Sophie's eyes lingered on the empty space on his neck and Keefe felt her suspicion growing. His panic increased. She couldn't know about the devastating thing he had to do today. No, she couldn't know.

It would break her heart.

But in the end, she would know all the same.

And then she would hate him.

Keefe shook the thoughts away from his head as he asked, "So what's with all the vagueness and mystery?" He was wondering about that.

All Sophie said was, "I'll explain when everyone gets here."

Keefe nodded, but his mind wasn't really focusing on their conversation—nor were his eyes. They kept flickering towards the sun. He knew he had to be there when the sun began to set. It was too early—but he didn't want to take any risks.

This thing had to be perfect.

"Do you need to be somewhere?" Sophie asked, and Keefe knew she'd caught her checking the time. Oh no.

He avoided her question as he put on a teasing tone and said, "Still worrying about me, I see. I guess it's good to know the Mysterious Miss F. hasn't gotten sick of me yet."

But in a day's time, she would.

"I'll never get sick of you, Keefe," Sophie assured him.

Keefe felt an idea of a smile tug at his lips slightly, but all he said was, "We'll see."

Sophie looked like she wanted to fire him more questions, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out the blue velvet pouch before she could open her mouth, handing it shyly to her. "By the way, um...this is for you."

Keefe didn't miss the way her cheeks flushed with pink—though that maybe had been just the cold. She poured out the contents into her palm as Keefe's heart palpitated furiously. What if she didn't like it?

"This is the one you made for your mum," she said as she traced her fingers over the beads. Her expression was unreadable, but Keefe felt that she was impressed.

What she said wasn't a question, but Keefe still answered, "Yeah. I know you already have a ton of necklaces and stuff, but...I wanted you to have it." He mussed his hair even more while he said it.

"You're sure you don't want to keep it?"

Keefe shook his head, avoiding her gaze as images of his mother flashed through his head.

Sophie leaned forward and whispered, "She's not gone yet, Keefe."

"I know," Keefe said, but he didn't feel sure. What if they tortured her so much in the ogre prison that she... "But either way, it's yours now. I even made you a new bead."

He pointed to the bead in the bottom center, which was slightly larger than the other beads. Sophie stared at it, and he knew he was thinking about the flower he'd painted on it.

"Is this a Panakes blossom?" she asked him, staring at the bead. Keefe saw her staring at the small crystal on the largest petal, and hoped that she wouldn't think much of it.

The crystal was for emergencies. Keefe knew there was little chance anything unexpected would happen, but...it was Sophie. There was always something unique about her, which he liked.

"How did you know what they looked like?"

Keefe shifted on his feet uncomfortably as he told her, "I stopped by around sunrise to see Calla."

Sophie frowned. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Keefe shrugged, his heart beating so loud he thought Sophie would've heard it. "I didn't want to interrupt your Ella cuddle time," he lied.

She couldn't know the truth.

"So..." Sophie started slowly. "You just sat outside by yourself? For how long?"

"Mm...Not that long. It wasn't a big deal anyway. I was just heading home from a thing and decided to check on Calla on a whim."

"A thing..." Sophie pressed, but Keefe refused to say anything. After a moment of awkward silence, she said, "If you hate being at Candleshade, Keefe, you don't have to stay there."

Little did she know how right she was.

"I know. I probably won't." Well, that was the truth. "Aren't you going to put that in?"

Sophie raised the necklace over her head and set it down on her skin. She turned to Keefe. "How does it look?"

He tried to make her smile look as happy as possible, but it was still sad. It wasn't because she didn't look good in it—she looked beautiful, in fact—but it was the fact that after this she probably would hate the necklace that made him miserable.

He just wanted to give her something to remember him by.

Sophie's gaze trailed behind him, and Keefe could see Edaline giving them a goofy smile, and sighed inwardly.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she tucked her blonde hair behind her ears shyly, "it's really beautiful."

Keefe shrugged. "It's nice to see someone finally wearing it."

At least she appreciated it.

"Well, you'll be seeing a lot of it. I'm going to wear it every day." Hope radiated from Sophie, but Keefe didn't smile. How wrong she was—and how heartbroken she was going to be.

He wished he didn't need to do it—but he did.

His palms turned sweaty as Sophie squinted at him, and Keefe felt her suspicion was growing steadily.

"So what now?" Keefe asked, jitterbugs flitting around in his stomach after the whole procedure had been finished. "You off to Everglen to check on the Fitzter?"

He wanted her out of the way before he leaped away to the place where he was dreading.

"I thought I'd give them a little space. This is a family thing...you know?"

"I guess." He kicked some snow, sending the white mushy solids scattering. "So you're going back to Havenfield, then?"

He wanted to make sure she really wasn't going to be with him—or else it could—no, would get very messy.

Sophie paused, and Keefe felt her doubt and suspicion rise up sharply as she said, "Yeah. Why, what are you up to?"

Trepidation made Keefe panic. "Nothing," he said, a little too quickly.

Sophie raised her eyebrows, but she didn't say anything about that as she said, "So...do you want to come over, then?" Her fingers kept fiddling with the necklace he'd given her. "I thought I might try to make starkflower stew to give to Calla's tree—and I know that sounds super exciting, but...you could make fun of me. And then you can stay for dinner, and—"

Keefe hated to interrupt Sophie—her enthusiasm was flying everywhere—but he cut in. "Foster, you don't have to take care of me."

Sophie pursed her lips, looking a little dejected. "Maybe I just like you." Heat crept up her cheeks at that. "I...I'm just worried about you."

Keefe stepped closer, not exactly aware of what he was doing as he said softly, "I know. It's one of the things I like about you."

He noticed Sophie's shyness at them standing so close together—and honestly? He had butterflies inside his stomach too. Her brown eyes stared up at Keefe as she blinked her eyes, which were much bigger and filled with fear and worry when up close.

Keefe wanted to say something to reassure her—tell her everything's going to be alright—but how could he when he was the one who was going to ruin things further for her?

Someone cleared their throat, reminding them they weren't alone. Grady was glaring and Edaline was smiling that fan-girl smile of hers, making Keefe blush, and embarrassment could be found in both of them.

After Grady and Edaline left, Sophie opened her mouth to speak.

"That was weird," she mumbled, her face bright red.

"Yeah," Keefe mumbled back, feeling the heat tinted on his cheeks. He normally didn't blush—and he was confused at why he would now.

* * *

Keefe looked away. "I'm just going to see someone. It's not a big deal," he lied.

Oh, it was a big deal, alright.

"Can I go with you?"

Keefe shook his head. No way. "Please forget it, okay?" he pleaded, shuffling from foot to foot and twitching his fingers nervously.

"I don't know what you're up to, Keefe—but you promised you'd let me help."

"I know. But this is something I'll have to do by myself. It's fine, though, I swear. It's all going to be fine."

Lies, lies, and lies.

He was also trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Sophie.

And he knew Sophie knew that too as he blurted out, "Remember when we were at the Black Swan's ocean hideout, and you ate the drugged cookie and left me all alone with Silveny? I trusted you, I'm just asking you to do the same."

Sophie frowned at him. "I seem to remember almost dying that day..."

She wasn't convinced, and Keefe didn't have to be an Empath to know that.

"And I'm saving the near-death experiences for you and Fitz. I like being alive," he murmured, stepping closer, and they were back to the point where they stared at each other's eyes. "Please just trust me, Sophie."

He knew it was too much to ask for—especially from him—but he really wanted her to trust him.

Sophie bit her lip. "You'll hail me later and let me know you're okay?"

Keefe couldn't promise her that, but what he said was, "I'll hail you as soon as I can."

Sophie didn't look satisfied at that answer, and Keefe could feel her worry vibes. After a few long seconds, she muttered, "Okay."

Keefe beamed at her for real, and said, "Goodbye, Foster." He tried not to let sadness leak into his voice.

Sophie smiled at him. "Goodbye." She pulled out her home crystal and held it to the light, creating a path. Keefe let out a soft sigh of relief that only he could hear as he turned away from her, worry-free, and pulled out his own crystal.

As he stepped into the light, he could feel someone grab his shoulders. His eyes bulged in shock as he turned his head to face Sophie, but it was too late to do anything as they glittered away.

As soon as they arrived at the Lake of Blood, Keefe's shock turned to rage as he yelled at her, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Sophie flinched, but she said, "I should ask you the same question. Are you serious right now? Were you actually thinking of breaking into an ogre prison?"

That wasn't why he was here, but he had no time to explain—and that wasn't the main focus here now. Sophie wasn't safe here at all. She needed to—

"Go home, Sophie." Keefe was shaking with fear now, and Sophie watched him through confused but defiant eyes.

"I'm not leaving without you." Her voice was firm and loyal as she looked up at him. Keefe started to panic. This was bad.

In a vain attempt, he grabbed her home crystal; and tried to hold it up to the light to create a path home—but Sophie, being stubborn, wrestled the pendant away from his hands.

"Please," Keefe pleaded Sophie. "You have to get out of here."

They could be here any second—and then it would be too late.

"So do you!" Sophie screamed.

"I can't," he said stubbornly. "You're the one who needs to."

They argued for some time, before Keefe lunged for her home crystal again. It flew out of Sophie's hands, splashing into the red lake before he could grab hold of it.

Fear and the hard reality crashed into Keefe as his hands started to tremble for real. He didn't have any crystal with him. And now Sophie's crystal was forever gone, she couldn't get back. Oh no...

He tore through his pockets, his fingers trying to find something, anything, so that he could leap Sophie out of here. She couldn't be here. She just couldn't.

Sophie watched in disbelief and terror as he searched in panic for a crystal. "You don't have your home crystal with you? How were you even planning to get back?"

"He wasn't," a raspy voice sounded behind them. Keefe drew in a sharp intake of breath as he turned around, but he'd expected them to be here. It had been just a matter of time. And now, it was too late to get Sophie out of here.

"I must say—you've really outdone yourself, Mr Sencen. Miss Foster is an excellent addition to our bargain." Fintan raised his hands to call down flames.

Fear shot through Keefe like an arrow as he jumped in front of Sophie, stretching his arms out to protect Sophie. "She's not supposed to be here," he protested.

Brant smiled wickedly. "Then we'll consider her an excellent bonus," he rasped, tilting his head at Sophie, who was shaking and looking at Brant, Fintan, and Alvar in disbelief and fear.

Alvar vanished, and Keefe was about to warn Sophie, but it was too late. Sophie's legs suddenly gave way as she screamed, thrashed, and kicked, but Alvar was just too strong. He reappeared as he pinned her arms behind her with one hand while he ripped her Black Swan pendant off her neck and threw it to Brant, who caught it with his hands.

"Let's leave the fires to the professionals, shall we?" Brant crushed the metal ruthlessly with the tip of his foot. Sophie watched quietly as he crushed the pendant into dented metal, as if he was destroying the Black Swan himself. "I'll take yours too," he said, referring to Keefe.

Brant lunged and tore Keefe's pendant off from his neck. Keefe jerked away as he did so, searing pain travelling to his neck.

"Must we really do this again?" Brant snapped as he created an Everblaze sphere.

"Not if you let her go," Keefe said firmly.

"I'm finding it rather hard to believe your commitment," Fintan sneered. "Surely you've realised, Mr Sencen, that switching sides means betraying your friends."

Keefe's stomach swirled nervously as Sophie said, "What is he talking about, Keefe?" Her voice was filled with confusion and hurt.

The look on her face made Keefe look away.

"You can't guess?" Brant taunted Sophie.

Sophie stayed silent.

"Where's the cache?" Fintan asked Keefe.

Suddenly, Sophie's mental voice filled Keefe's head before he could reply Fintan.

 _There are better ways to save your mum,_ she transmitted to him. _Let's get out of here and we'll figure it out together._

Keefe inwardly shook his head. This wouldn't end with the two of them safely returning back to the Lost Cities—and it wasn't like he was ever wanting to go back either. No, only one of them needed to return—and that someone was Sophie, for sure.

He wasn't going back.

"We should finish this at the hideout. Ruy will be wondering where we are."

 _Ruy._ Another Neverseen member he had yet to meet.

"Not until he proves he can deliver the item," Fintan said to Alvar, then he turned to Keefe. "Show us the cache."

His voice was demanding, and Keefe knew there was no way to talk him out of it. But it was still worth it—to delay more so he could convince Sophie to leave—without him. He knew it was close to impossible—but not impossible.

"Let her go first," he snapped back. "She's nothing to do with this!"

"There you go again, making it hard to trust you. So let's make this easier." Fintan shoved him to the ground, and Keefe bit his lip as crushing pain almost cracked his jaw.

Fintan snatched Sophie from Alvar, just like handling a little paper doll as he held Everblaze flames under Sophie's nose.

Keefe's fists clenched and Fintan smirked. So he knew one of his weaknesses.

"Give me the cache," Fintan said, still smiling that evil smile, "or I'll start giving her scars like the ones she gave Brant."

Keefe blanched in horror as he imagined Sophie's face being nothing more than scar tissue, then immediately said, "Okay, okay. I'll get it right now."

He looked away from Sophie as he raised his voice to sound like Sophie's, and said, "221B Baker Street."

Sophie's head snapped up at her own voice, and she stared at Keefe in disbelief and shock as the cache dropped into Keefe's hands.

Her mouth was agape as she said slowly, "How did you..."

Keefe looked anywhere but at her as he explained, "I pieced it together after I heard you training with Fitz. And mimicking's easy."

Fintan's eyes gleamed at the sight of the cache, and he ordered, "Bring it here."

 _Don't do it,_ Sophie transmitted, sounding panicky. Keefe refused to look at her. But he focused on Fintan instead.

"You'll honor the rest of our deal?" he asked, to make sure.

"If you prove your loyalty to us," Brant spat at him.

"I brought the cache—what else do you need?" Keefe asked disbelievingly.

"You haven't actually given it to us," Fintan said calmly, pointing to Alvar.

At that moment, Keefe felt so many emotions rushing through him at once. Pain. Sorrow. Regret. And most importantly, shame. He couldn't bear to look at the expression on Sophie's face.

"Don't do it," Sophie begged Keefe. "That cache could destroy everything."

Exactly why Keefe had traded those secrets out to save his mother. He'd gotten more memories and realised something crucial and...he...knew who he truly was right now.

 _I gotta say what's on my mind._

 _Something about this doesn't seem right this days._

 _Things keep getting in the way._

 _And whatever plans we always have are crushed every time._

Fintan smirked. "That's the point. Three seconds, Mr. Sencen, then things get ugly."

Keefe didn't want things to get ugly—so he reluctantly handed Alvar the cache, and Alvar leaped away, glittering in the light as he faded.

 _It's so hard to say, but I've got to do what's best for me._

 _You'll be okay._

"Now we're getting somewhere," said Fintan. "But you still have one more test before I'll trust you fully. And since the strongest bonds are created with fire..." He tilted his head at Brant.

Brant smiled mockingly, bending down and picking up the bent frame of Sophie's swan pendant. He dipped it into the wild flames of Everblaze, igniting the metal brightly as he passed it to Keefe.

"Brand her a traitor and maybe we'll believe your commitment," he cackled.

Sophie choked on her voice as Keefe took the red-hot pendant from Brant. "Why are you doing this? How can you join them after everything they have done?"

Keefe didn't look at her as he gazed at the fire blazing around the pendant.

"I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be anymore, Sophie."

 _I've got to move on and be who I am._

 _I just don't belong here, I hope you understand._

"What does that even mean?" Sophie screamed, making Keefe flinch.

Keefe's voice was choked as he said, "It means I got more memories back. I'm not like you, Sophie. You were made to be the hero. I was raised to be something...else."

 _We might find our place in this world someday,_

 _But at least for now,_

 _I gotta go my own way._

He reached towards her face, and she flinched away, a mix of hurt and betrayal in her eyes. He fingered the necklace on her neck, touching the biggest bead and staring at the Panakes blossom.

 _Don't wanna leave it all behind._

 _But I get my hopes up, and I watch them fall every time._

 _Another colour turns to grey._

 _And it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away._

 _I'm leaving today, because I've got to do what's best for me._

 _You'll be okay._

"I wanted you to have this before I left. I thought it would be good for you to have something to remember me by. In case someday..."

He didn't finish the sentence, but both of them knew what he meant.

 _In case someday I die._

"I'm growing impatient, Mr. Sencen," Fintan warned him.

"Give me a second!" Keefe called back as he turned his attention back to Sophie, tracing his fingers over the beads, lingering on the biggest one. "Now I know why my dad hated it so much. It looks like our Exillium necklaces, doesn't it? That's why my mum must've liked it. She knew I was meant to be the outcast."

He swallowed.

"You keep trying to fix everything, Sophie. You even fixed Exillium. But you can't fix me."

 _I've got to move on and be who I am._

 _I just don't belong here, I hope you understand._

 _We might find our place in this world someday._

 _But at least for now,_

 _I gotta go my own way._

Sophie stared at him in disbelief, and Keefe knew what she was thinking. Why he had to do this to her. How heartbroken she was.

 _What about us?_

 _What about everything we've been through?_

But this was more important.

 _And what about trust?_

 _You know I never wanted to hurt you._

He was doing this for himself. He didn't belong in the Black Swan. And now he realised what he was meant to be all along.

 _And what about me?_

 _What am I supposed to do?_

 _I need to leave but I'll miss you..._

"You understand, right?" he asked her pleadingly.

Sophie's look on her face told him she didn't. "No."

 _Come with me,_ she transmitted, her face begging Keefe to comply. But there was no going back for Keefe now.

 _So, I've got to move on and be who I am._

 _(Why do you have to go?)_

 _I just don't belong here, I hope you understand._

 _(I'm trying to understand!)_

 _We might find our place in this world someday,_

 _But at least for now,_

 _(I want you to stay!)_

 _I gotta go my own way!_

"I have to do this," Keefe whispered, forcing Sophie to look into his eyes. The emotion in her eyes scared him, and he begged her, "Please don't hate me."

He nodded towards the faint trail of light he was still holding in place, beckoning Sophie to go home.

He could sense Sophie's feelings jumble as she swallowed hard, her face grieved and hopeless as she twisted out of Fintan's grasp, running towards the light path.

Their eyes met one last time as the light pulled her away.

 _I gotta go my own way._

* * *

 _ **The awesome+super sad song is from High School Musical 2, played by Gabriella and Troy, called Gotta Go My Own Way!**  
_


End file.
